Rewriting the entire last scene from Aral's point of view.
(I am reluctant to lose "a door that was just beginning to seem familiar, a slab of oak with connotations of sweet tea and gray silk and conversation as delicate as keen-edged steel" - but I think it'll work better overall. And I can do the final scene in Simon's POV, because I'd like him seeing Harold this time.)
(This thing is going to hit the 10K mark soon, with a long way still to go. Oh dear oh dear oh deary dear. But at least I'm writing it again.)
(I am reluctant to lose "a door that was just beginning to seem familiar, a slab of oak with connotations of sweet tea and gray silk and conversation as delicate as keen-edged steel" - but I think it'll work better overall. And I can do the final scene in Simon's POV, because I'd like him seeing Harold this time.)
(This thing is going to hit the 10K mark soon, with a long way still to go. Oh dear oh dear oh deary dear. But at least I'm writing it again.)
no subject
Date: 2013-01-28 03:28 pm (UTC)From:Also, yay inspiration and words :-)